RANDOM THOUGHTS, WHITE WALLS AND A TURD

- There is something depressing and yet satisfying about drinking wine from a tea cup. It means I’m messy kind of sad…but my non-conformist soul wouldn’t allow me to drink from a wine glass.

- I like music that breaks my heart. Music so sad it leaves an invisible gaping hole in the depth and hidden fibre of my heart. It is unnecessary pain but it makes my heart strong.

-Yes I said it. I won’t apologise.

 Am I the only one who thinks myself too good to be true…that I’m afraid a jerk would find me and not know how to love me?

There are days when I just feel like laying in bed and ceasing to exist.

 -  I like the idea of love, but I’m afraid to love and be loved back. I like Love sautéed in smoldering kisses, company in solitude, warm lingering hugs and hearts beating in unison. Something pure. I’m looking for a kind of love I can’t find in mankind. Love that is here, present, physical, now.

 - I’m afraid to fail. I’m afraid I'll make my mother’s tears be in vain. I’m afraid I won’t be able to live out people’s expectations of me. I’m afraid of my very existence.

 -When I have the urge to talk to you, I write. That’s the only way I won’t hurt you with my indecisiveness.

 -  I think God picked the toughest people in his creation and said unto them “Go Live in Africa!”. This place is a shit hole!
  -  I don’t choose to forget about my friends or the people who fill my days with “happiness”. I don’t check up on them often like they would wish me to. I’m just forgetful but thoughtful I remember how they smelled the last I saw them. But who cares about smell?

I am my mother’s child

Comments

  1. Sis knew you were a writer but didn't know you were this good

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