FixAfrica

                                                  Photo credit: google  She is the two faced laughing jackal that haunts you in your dreams. You see her everyday Maybe not… Her mournful wailing deafens your senses And her agony is out of this realm. She bleeds from the cuts of her own claws And she feeds on the pain like a famished lioness with her kill in the Kalahari She hungers for change that is not here She hungers for a place that is not near. Look how she wears her scars with grace And plunges her horns back into her heart like a dagger. She bleeds slowly not to her death She bleeds slowly to her survival With an uplifted face and uplifted hands She is the silent one you never see in a crowd. She is the aura and peace you pray for Calm and collected like the still waters of the Nile She is strangeness in perfection And your direction in a thunderstorm You can taste the light she radiates And yet…her eyes are ripples of fa

I cannot recollect the number of times I have found warmth in you… You understand my battles and you hear the echoes too The echoes in these walls where nothing ever happens Where hopes evaporate and happiness has fled And every day is a nasty war, bloodier than before. You have heard my chanting through the night Praying and crying for redemption from life’s sinking sands I find no peace here, I find myself in pieces here. So I run to you for comfort Alas I am weary and the tissues of my heart are worn out Worn out from the journeys they wished I had traveled in pursuit of love and the luxuries of life. Reignite my passion to live on without fainting Maybe I aimed too high.  Maybe I deserve the low I like how your waters burn my skin My skin reddens as I groan in pain But I crave your touch…It is the only reality I understand. Maybe happiness is not for everyone…. I learn this every day.

Once upon a dark night, A sprite wandered along the prisons of human finesse And met the most rejected and unhappy being the world had ever known. Appearing in human form,  she tried to hide away before this being could lock his gaze on her. But it was rather too late… He found her... He found solace in her, Built a comfortable home, And made her bosom his resting place. Out of compassion, the sprite gave this forlorn creature a peak of her world. “My world is as dark as my soul Step into it and find light” she whispered. She showed him eye-numbing scenes of this world and beyond… Where happiness coincided with pain…. And formed a new indescribable ecstasy. He got drunk in her essence And slowly he forgot what it meant to be alone and sad. They travelled the world together… He called it celestial bliss. But with each waking moment he spent at her side, He knew the inevitable will happen. But it happened too soon. One day she

I’ll worship the sand beneath your feet And put you before my needs. I won’t die for you! No! My love is no fairy tale love. I choose to maintain my sanity whilst I dust the sinews of your heart with gold. I want to be able to tell them when they ask Why I loved you so That I loved you with every active part of my mind, And that you were my all. My best friend, my mother and my sister. They saw me smile from canine to canine Whenever you were close to me. What they didn’t know was that I was dying inside And that I was alone when I was with you. You seemed so distant So I decided to build a bridge to get to you But before I could set up the pillars of the bridge The avalanche of your anger tore  them down’ You didn’t want me to be your hero… And all I wanted was to be your god. And now you tell me you’re leaving Leaving? But you were never here? Here with me For us to feel the love I had for both of us  I’ll survive without yo

I froze in my tracks and stared in utter disbelief. And the young infant boy strudded at your side gave out a piercing cry that caused my heart to shrink. Your black cotton hair I last remembered you with now looked like black patches on a diseased fruit and your happy eyes now shone dull like a dying star. And of all the places we anticipated to meet after school...why did it have to be here. ...in line with asylum seekers? My dear friend, "Are you running away from life too?" I'll keep in touch,I'll miss you" you said,  holding back tears and hugging me with a choking tightness. I watched you closely as you  whisked off in your mother's waiting car. You meant more to me than you knew. You filled my high school days with rib rupturing laughters and good memories. Secrets shared in the depth of dark nights... sitting on trunks... eating in the dormitory... breaking rules and feeling the melange of anxiety  and thrill it gave us. Non-conformity

- There is something depressing and yet satisfying about drinking wine from a tea cup. It means I’m messy kind of sad…but my non-conformist soul wouldn’t allow me to drink from a wine glass. - I like music that breaks my heart. Music so sad it leaves an invisible gaping hole in the depth and hidden fibre of my heart. It is unnecessary pain but it makes my heart strong. - Yes I said it. I won’t apologise. -    Am I the only one who thinks myself too good to be true…that I’m afraid a jerk would find me and not know how to love me? -  There are days when I just feel like laying in bed and ceasing to exist.  -   I like the idea of love, but I’m afraid to love and be loved back. I like Love sautéed in smoldering kisses, company in solitude, warm lingering hugs and hearts beating in unison. Something pure. I’m looking for a kind of love I can’t find in mankind. Love that is here, present, physical, now.  -   I’m afraid to fail. I’m afraid I'll make my mother’s tears be in va